In 1990 I had the pleasure to see Ozzy Osborne live, on his birthday. My friend Lisa and I went, and all the way to New Haven, all the radio stations were playing various Ozzy/Black Sabbath songs, and we were laughing because we heard "War Pigs" so many times, that when the band hit those distinctive opening notes, we groaned and rolled our eyes. Ozzy put on a great show, I think he might still have been messed up back then, but he had the whole audience in the palm of his hand. At the end of the night, they dropped tons of balloons that said, "Happy Birthday, Ozzy" on them, I kept mine for years, despite it's deflation.
However, this song doesn't really remind me of the show. It now reminds me of my two unofficial stepsons, Tyler, age 16 and Ryan, age 14.
Despite living in a house with two musicians passionate about music, our boys never seemed that interested in music. At one point I asked Tyler (at about age 11) what his favorite kind of music was, and he said, "Video game music." Yes, they were very into video games, mostly fighting and samurai video games. Then came the whole "Guitar Hero"-"Rock Band" video game craze and the guys were introduced to a bunch of music and they started doing some exploring on their own. I'll never forget Tyler coming to me and asking me, "Have you ever heard of Meat Loaf?".
At one point, Ryan got sick of playing plastic guitars and expressed interest in "real" guitar, so three and a half years ago, both Tyler and Ryan started taking lessons: Tyler took bass lessons, Ryan took guitar lessons (they're both awesome, by the way, and Tyler has also picked up the drums). I believe they started off liking Metallica but then found Black Sabbath and it became Black Sabbath all the time. They've now spread out and have become big fans of Cream, Derek and the Dominoes, Pink Floyd, Frank Zappa, Dio, Blue Oyster Cult and many other fine bands from the 70's era.
During the Black Sabbath phase, we were all in the car heading somewhere, it doesn't matter, when "War Pigs" came on the radio. Tyler asked us to turn it up. The four of us then began to sing it, pretty loudly, all together. At the end of the song, Tyler said, "That was a nice family sing-along song, wasn't it?" and I started laughing really hard.
All my life I told everybody who would listen that I didn't want kids, that I didn't have a maternal cell in my body. I admitted I was incredibly selfish and that I wanted to be a poet rock star and would rather die than be "trapped" by a kids/a family. I didn't hate children, I claimed that I loved them so much I knew better than to have any. Love changed everything.
When I moved back to CT in 2002, my full intention was to regroup, save money and move back to New York City as soon as I humanly can. What's that old saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Yeah.
Right after Jesus Christ Superstar, my brother auditioned for a production of Godspell - I went along as moral support and to have something to do. I remember hearing this guy audition through the door - he played guitar and was singing "Stray Cat Strut." He was really good. I wanted to Jeff Gilooly him to get him out of the competition for the role of Jesus. Matt got the role of Jesus anyway, and this guy - Randy - ended up being part of the cast. During rehearsal, I noticed him - he was cute, but quiet. I heard through the grapevine that he had been married, but his wife had passed away leaving him with two small boys.
Randy and I didn't really get to talking until closer to the end of the show. We ended up sitting near each other and talking for hours at the cast parties, almost to the exclusion of everybody else. We had lots in common -we both loved music, and we both played guitar and sang. We decided we'd get together and jam and maybe be a band. I really liked him a lot, but was a little afraid of the "baggage", and I figured that his widower status and kids would be enough to keep my growing romantic feelings in check - that I would still move back to New York City, but that this musical collaboration would be a nice distraction.
Eight years later, I am still with him. I didn't count on falling in love with him. I also didn't count on his boys being so damn charming and sweet and falling in love with them, too. It wasn't long before I was at his house almost every night and then just changed my address.
The funniest part about this is I am far from trapped. I actually feel freer and MORE myself than I ever could imagine. Some friends worried that I'd be living in the shadow of another woman, his wife, but I tell them like I told him - he loved her the way he loved her. He's not going to love me the same way, he's loving me the way he loves me. I do not love him in the exact same way I loved my ex, I love Randy the way I love him. And as much as I love both boys, I can't make up for the fact that they lost their mother, I know that I'm the next best thing but that I can't replace her. I don't want to replace her. She is their mother, I am the lucky woman that is now mothering them.
If you had told me 11 years ago that I was going to leave New York City, live in the rural suburbs and raise two boys, I would have laughed until I had an aneurysm. What I also would never have believed if you told me was that I would be so happy, content, and grateful. Our family is not conventional and I am far from bored. It's almost like God heard me and said, "Oh yeah? How about THIS family?" and laughing, spread his wings and designed the perfect family for me. After feeling like an "outsider" for most of my life, I have found the people I belong to.
The very fact that "War Pigs" is our in-car sing-along song proves it to me.
However, this song doesn't really remind me of the show. It now reminds me of my two unofficial stepsons, Tyler, age 16 and Ryan, age 14.
Despite living in a house with two musicians passionate about music, our boys never seemed that interested in music. At one point I asked Tyler (at about age 11) what his favorite kind of music was, and he said, "Video game music." Yes, they were very into video games, mostly fighting and samurai video games. Then came the whole "Guitar Hero"-"Rock Band" video game craze and the guys were introduced to a bunch of music and they started doing some exploring on their own. I'll never forget Tyler coming to me and asking me, "Have you ever heard of Meat Loaf?".
At one point, Ryan got sick of playing plastic guitars and expressed interest in "real" guitar, so three and a half years ago, both Tyler and Ryan started taking lessons: Tyler took bass lessons, Ryan took guitar lessons (they're both awesome, by the way, and Tyler has also picked up the drums). I believe they started off liking Metallica but then found Black Sabbath and it became Black Sabbath all the time. They've now spread out and have become big fans of Cream, Derek and the Dominoes, Pink Floyd, Frank Zappa, Dio, Blue Oyster Cult and many other fine bands from the 70's era.
During the Black Sabbath phase, we were all in the car heading somewhere, it doesn't matter, when "War Pigs" came on the radio. Tyler asked us to turn it up. The four of us then began to sing it, pretty loudly, all together. At the end of the song, Tyler said, "That was a nice family sing-along song, wasn't it?" and I started laughing really hard.
All my life I told everybody who would listen that I didn't want kids, that I didn't have a maternal cell in my body. I admitted I was incredibly selfish and that I wanted to be a poet rock star and would rather die than be "trapped" by a kids/a family. I didn't hate children, I claimed that I loved them so much I knew better than to have any. Love changed everything.
When I moved back to CT in 2002, my full intention was to regroup, save money and move back to New York City as soon as I humanly can. What's that old saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Yeah.
Right after Jesus Christ Superstar, my brother auditioned for a production of Godspell - I went along as moral support and to have something to do. I remember hearing this guy audition through the door - he played guitar and was singing "Stray Cat Strut." He was really good. I wanted to Jeff Gilooly him to get him out of the competition for the role of Jesus. Matt got the role of Jesus anyway, and this guy - Randy - ended up being part of the cast. During rehearsal, I noticed him - he was cute, but quiet. I heard through the grapevine that he had been married, but his wife had passed away leaving him with two small boys.
Randy and I didn't really get to talking until closer to the end of the show. We ended up sitting near each other and talking for hours at the cast parties, almost to the exclusion of everybody else. We had lots in common -we both loved music, and we both played guitar and sang. We decided we'd get together and jam and maybe be a band. I really liked him a lot, but was a little afraid of the "baggage", and I figured that his widower status and kids would be enough to keep my growing romantic feelings in check - that I would still move back to New York City, but that this musical collaboration would be a nice distraction.
Eight years later, I am still with him. I didn't count on falling in love with him. I also didn't count on his boys being so damn charming and sweet and falling in love with them, too. It wasn't long before I was at his house almost every night and then just changed my address.
The funniest part about this is I am far from trapped. I actually feel freer and MORE myself than I ever could imagine. Some friends worried that I'd be living in the shadow of another woman, his wife, but I tell them like I told him - he loved her the way he loved her. He's not going to love me the same way, he's loving me the way he loves me. I do not love him in the exact same way I loved my ex, I love Randy the way I love him. And as much as I love both boys, I can't make up for the fact that they lost their mother, I know that I'm the next best thing but that I can't replace her. I don't want to replace her. She is their mother, I am the lucky woman that is now mothering them.
If you had told me 11 years ago that I was going to leave New York City, live in the rural suburbs and raise two boys, I would have laughed until I had an aneurysm. What I also would never have believed if you told me was that I would be so happy, content, and grateful. Our family is not conventional and I am far from bored. It's almost like God heard me and said, "Oh yeah? How about THIS family?" and laughing, spread his wings and designed the perfect family for me. After feeling like an "outsider" for most of my life, I have found the people I belong to.
The very fact that "War Pigs" is our in-car sing-along song proves it to me.
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